Hey there...
I feel like it has been forever since I have blogged. I have taken some much needed time to allow myself and my family some time to heal and recuperate from a very crazy month.
I wanted to share a little bit of my heart and a peek behind the curtain into our life.
In the last month of our life we have endured heartache, betrayal, pain, loss, and shock from someone who was close to our family. I will not share the intimate details of any of this, however I wanted to share what I have learned in the past month.
Godly wisdom from my amazing husband has been invaluable.
I am so thankful for the incredible man he is.
Genuine friendship is rare in this world. Cherish it.
My personality, by nature is some what reserved and cautious at letting people close to myself and my family. In ministry this may sound like a oxy-moron. Don't misunderstand, I have a heart for people and desire friendship and relationships. I am just slower to dive right in. I think a lot of years of pain through my relationships, the counseling of others through heart aching process of broken relationships has guided me to the place I stand.
When we are hurt by someone we love, consider close, do life with, our world is crushed.
We live in a fallen world, I am not a stranger to sin, nor do I feel even worthy to share, I am the chiefest of sinners. I however have a God who is all about reversing your destiny, and restoring sinners in grace through faith in Jesus Christ.
When walking through a betrayal, broken relationship it is easier to isolate and allow our minds to spin out of control. What did I miss? How did I not see the signs? How could I let this person get so close to me? How can I forgive this?
I will never let anyone in again.
While this may seem like a fail proof plan, or a way to protect yourself, it is not going to help you heal.
The enemy wants us to stay in a pit, to stay isolated with our thoughts, to judge, to live and dwell in un-forgiveness. We have to fight our way out of that pit. Being in the word constantly, laying down our own fears, hurts and pain before the Lord. We have a God who wants to provide peace, comfort, security. He knows our pain, He sees our fear, He catches our tears.
Psalm 56: 8 You have kept count of my tossings and put tears in your bottle. I am so thankful and humbled that my Jesus knows and cares for me so intimately.
The only way to overcome heartache is to deal with it day by day, moment by moment.
I have found that prayer, lots of pouring over the Word, seeking wise counsel, and getting back up again is the best way to begin healing. I can't hold onto the hurt or the offense, it will only eat me alive. Once I have put it before the Lord, there I must leave it.
I am responsible for how I respond, my actions, and obedience in the Lord.
He will take care of the rest.
Sometimes in the moment of the most unimaginable, this is where God takes you and says trust me, just trust me... trust me at my word. Take heart my beloved for I have overcome the world.
I have played these words over and over from one of my favorite worship songs...
Give me faith to trust what you say
that your good, and your love is great.
I'm broken inside I give you my life.
I hope you will find some peace and hope as you read this. Heartache may not be something you are experiencing today, but one day could. I am thankful that I am not alone, and that my Savior lives.
XOXO
Kristine
Disclosure... this post pertains to a friendship, not betrayal in my home.
